52 Relationship Quotes of Rachel Simmons

” A healthy friendship is one where you share your true feelings without fearing the end of the relationship. It’s also one where you sometimes have to let things that bug you slide. The tough moments will make you wiser about yourself and each other. They will also make you stronger and closer as friends. “
” As girls grow up and download what it means to be a culturally acceptable ‘good girl,’ they learn to please others at the expense of themselves. They worry about protecting relationships – and what people think of them – at all costs. “
” If the Internet has been called a great democratizer, perhaps what social media has done is let anyone enter the beauty pageant. Teens can cover up pimples, whiten teeth, and even airbrush with the swipe of a finger, curating their own image to become prettier, thinner, and hotter. “
” Most parents would not hesitate to assume responsibility for their child’s behavior on a playground, at school, or in someone else’s home. What happens online should be no different. Parents should talk with their children about computer ethics, stipulate rules of conduct, and – most importantly – establish consequences. “
” Somebody once told me I treated my smart phone like Wilson, the volleyball Tom Hanks turns into a friend when he’s stranded on a desert island in that movie ‘Castaway.’ It’s an apt comparison: parenting a toddler occasionally feels like being marooned, and your phone is your only connection to the rest of the world. “
” Social media forces girls to bear witness to painful realities of relationship that were previously hidden from view. It is a new kind of TMI, or ‘too much information’: publicly posted photographs of an outing or party you did not attend, or a personal web page like Formspring, can send a girl into paroxysms of anxiety and grief. “
” Intrinsic motivation is one of learning’s most precious resources. It bolsters us to stick out the tough moments of a challenge and pursue what we love to do. “
” Despite girls’ sparkling resumes – including rates of college enrollment and high school grades that outstrip boys – sexism is a barrier that still leaves girls ambivalent about power. Opening doors has not amounted to ambition to lead for many of them, even those with options, networks, and resources. “
” There are no shortcuts to genuine friendship. Relationships are built over time. “
” For the self-conscious or insecure girl, technology can become a crippling addiction, an insatiable hunger not just for connection but the elusive promise of being liked by everyone. “
” Feeling jealous doesn’t make you a terrible person. “
” What teens share online is dwarfed by what they consume. Pre-Internet, you had to hoof it to the grocery store to find a magazine with celebrity bodies – or at least filch your mother’s copy from the bathroom. Now the pictures are as endless as they are available. “
” Classroom teachers can play an active role in instructing children about appropriate conduct online, even where there is no school policy on the issue. By promoting public discussion about their lives on the Internet, teachers and students can work together to share advice and develop ‘rules to type by’ or similar Internet-minded guidance. “
” I’ve spent years in therapy excavating my endless, often fruitless drive to overachieve. I have learned that being successful hasn’t made me happy. It’s just made me successful. I even call myself a recovering overachiever. “
” If you want to stand with me as a single mom – and I know so many of my friends and colleagues do – please don’t appropriate my burden as a way to validate your own. To suggest that you are single-parenting when you are simply solo for the weekend devalues what real single mothers do. “
” Failing well is a skill. Letting girls do it gives them critical practice coping with a negative experience. It also gives them the opportunity to develop a kind of confidence and resilience that can only be forged in times of challenge. “
” Having a baby on my own is a dream come true, but in my world, there’s no sheepish spouse on his way home from a work trip to offer me a stretch of alone time. “
” Sometimes comparing can be a good thing: it can inspire us to work harder and reach farther. But for the most part, excessive measuring yourself up against others – especially when it becomes a way to put yourself down – is a colossal waste of time. It’s a dead end. It won’t make you do anything except feel horrible. “
” Self-knowledge is the foundation of real success. “
” It never hurts to tell your teen they matter more than their looks. “
” Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly. “
” There are times in every friendship when you or your friend are too busy to call or are more focused on other relationships. It will hurt, but it’s rarely personal. Making it personal usually makes things worse, and being too clingy or demanding can drive a friend even further away. Like people, friendships can get ‘overworked’ and need to rest. “
” Girlhood is often marred by schoolgirl cruelty, a grim rite of passage in which parents sometimes cruelly collude. Mothers and fathers must take a stand against petty or protracted hostility between girls. “
” In the so-called age of girl power, we have failed to cut loose our most regressive standards of female success – like pleasing others and looking sexy – and to replace them with something more progressive – like valuing intelligence and hard work. “
” Parents of all girls must simultaneously explain overt and covert sexism, name it whenever they see it, and teach their daughters to do the same. “
” Most of us are destined to be unhappy if we can’t accept that we will have moments – or a waist size – that don’t match our perfect vision of how things should be. “
” Small changes lead to big ones. But big changes – trying to become a different person overnight – usually lead to defeat. “
” Jealousy is unavoidable – it’s part of the price we pay for intimacy. “
” Many of us endure pain in the service of beauty every single day. We rip off our hair with hot wax, jam our soft skin into modern-day corsets, and burn our scalps with dyes. “
” If parents shield their children from real feelings, kids falsely imagine their parents are in constant control of themselves – and may try to emulate them. “
” If smart phones had been around for women in the 1950s, ‘The Feminine Mystique’ might never have been written. The depression and ennui of housewives would have been blunted by Pinterest and Facebook. “
” Teasing is often healthy and fun, not to mention an important part of interpersonal and individual development. But when it’s abused, ‘just kidding’ contains a disturbing logic: If I didn’t mean it, it didn’t happen. “
” Parents are teachers as much as caregivers, and our children learn to navigate life’s challenges by watching us. Kids can get a road map for how to handle painful emotions. “
” I am a recovering rat racer. “
” We learn best when we’re intrinsically motivated – that is, when we try something new for the sheer enjoyment of the experience. “
” Girls may love movies about fairytale princes, but their most captivating romance is with their friends. “
” You can give them the opportunity to thrive, but when it comes to finding happiness or success, kids are really on their own. “
” Prom drops girls squarely into the beauty spending pipeline. “
” Our friends are barometers of our own lives: We look to our BFFs to better understand how we’re doing ourselves. Our friends help us make sense of what we have, what we aspire to, and what we truly long for. “
” There’s no question that aggression can be learned through modeling. When a child sees her parent behave in a particular way, she may be tempted or even rewarded for being that way. “
” Sometimes true girl power means accepting that we are actually vulnerable and even powerless – then figuring out how to adapt and have our needs met in other ways. “
” Harassment is one of puberty’s darkest, most unreported rites of passage. “
” You might be thinking that some people are just naturally good at speaking up, and others just aren’t – game over. Not true. Speaking up is a skill that you have to learn like any other, whether it’s speaking Spanish or doing calculus or changing a tire. “
” The Internet has transformed the landscape of children’s social lives, moving cliques from lunchrooms and lockers to live chats and online bulletin boards and intensifying their reach and power. “
” In the age of girl power, we’re loath to send a message of surrender to our girls. To the contrary: we’ve doubled down on giving them permission to speak up and fight for their rights. This is a good thing. “
” I was a single mom by choice at 37, and if my love life hadn’t quite panned out, most everything else had. I was a classic ‘amazing girl’ – driven, social, and relentlessly well-rounded – reveling in the fruits of post-Title IX America: an all-metro athlete in high school, Rhodes Scholar at 24, best-selling author by 27. “
” As parents, we must be mindful that our actions are matching our words. “
” Before I became a parent, I was a bestselling author and speaker pounding up the escalators of a different airport every week. “
” Happiness doesn’t just happen. It must be pursued. And if the pursuit of the ‘ultimate currency’ of happiness helps us choose occupations that confer present and future benefit, and these choices, in turn, motivate us to succeed, this strikes me as perhaps the most powerful non-cognitive skill of all. “
” To teach their children how to show themselves grace in the face of a challenge, I coach parents to model self-compassion in the face of everyday setbacks. “
” Instagram rocks. I love it, and so do the youth I work with and study. “
” Many girls aspire to a version of selfhood that puts a psychological glass ceiling on their potential to succeed. They suffer from what I call the Curse of the Good Girl: the pressure to be liked by everyone, generous to a fault, and flawless at everything you do. “